Needing Emotions to Catch Up

2 Corinthians 10:5 ~ "We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Answer me this? What comes first the action or reaction? Better asked, the thought or the emotion?

Yesterday I had one door open and another one shut. Hopes and dreams that had just recently been established in me, were crushed in a matter of moments. It hurt. It hurt really bad.

It actually uncovered a lie that was buried deep in me, that I was not even aware that was there. And that hurt even more. Last night my smile could not even hide it, though I surely tried.

There is a part of me that wants to curl up and hid right now. I want to get lost in this feeling of inadequacy and I am feeling. Cling to the things in my past that give "proof" of the lie that is being brought up in my head right now. But I know I can't do this. There is a greater truth that I am called to listen to, and heed to.

It is the truth that I am loved, and that God is in charge. It is the truth that he did not bring me this far to leave me now. I have to believe that he has great plans for me. They may not be what I thought they were, but I have to trust that it is sufficient. I have to trust that he is answering my prayers and placing me right where I need to be!

Maybe my other desires were selfish. Maybe I am just more needed where he is putting me. Regardless, it still hurts.

So while I have been able to apply this verse to my life, and take captive thoughts and make them obedient to God; I am finding that my emotions are not quite as quickly willing to comply.