Philippians 4:4-7 "4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."
Do not be anxious! How is this even possible?
We have the daily worries of life and external demands weighing us down. So we learn to lean on our heavenly father for our daily bread. We learn he is our provider. Not our jobs, other people, or even ourselves. So we humble ourselves and surrender to his guidance and trust; or rather learn to KNOW that he will provide the tangible things that we need.
But what I find most difficult is not the finding peace while waiting for provisions, rather the waiting for life. You know, the things that you are anticipating to happen. Graduating from college, getting a job, finding a person to love and start a life with. All of the things that you know he is going to bless you with, but take time to develop.
Yes, I have to admit, I am not good with the waiting. Currently, He is providing my daily bread having me work as a substitute teacher. WHAT A TEASE! I spend all day in these rooms. Some are very well ran, others I am just DYING to get my hands on. Either way, I sit in the room and dream about how I would organize it. I look through the curriculum guides and ideas of lessons begin to pop in my head.
IT IS KILLING ME!!!
Everyday I am in a new school, and I wonder "how would I do in this grade? in this position? on this team?" I am driving myself bonkers dreaming of 'how it could be'. My eager anticipation has a tendency to morph itself into anxiety.
Yet I know better than to do this. Be anxious for nothing. But Yahweh, my soul is yearning so deeply for the end result of these last few years of hard work. I want a room. Why can't a school call me and hire me NOW!!!
So what do I do? How do I surrender this? I look to him. Not for an answer, or some magical remedy. HE is the remedy. I get lost in loving him and letting him love me. He is here, now. He wants to show me things, now. He wants to love me, now. "Rejoice in the Lord, again I say rejoice!" Turn my mind away from the things in this world and allow my heart to rejoice in the love that he has for me, and I have for him.
This is so not easy, until it is done. And someday, I am sure I will miss having all this free time where I can just sit back and be loved!
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