He's in the Waiting...

It's 8AM on a Monday morning. And not just any Monday morning, it is the morning the district I am teaching in will begin their distance learning for thousands of kids. Yes in a short time our district has become a 1:1 technology based district and I have become a "teach from home" teacher. But that is not what this is about. This entry is about the 8 o'clock hour. I had an interview.

That's right, an interview. When I shared this with some of my prayer sisters they were all shocked, "I didn't know you were looking." and honestly I was not diligently seeking new employment. Teaching is my passion so we know I am not leaving that anytime soon. The school I am at is the only one I have ever taught at. I love them. They are my family. We have been through many tough times and amazing times of celebration together in the last eight years. Even though a change would better suit the path I want to take, leaving seems impossible.

So, how did I come to this moment in time where I am interviewing with another school within my district? I broke my laptop. Yup, the screen on my device shattered and I had to get a replacement. When I logged in, the browser went to a district home page I normally would not see due to my settings. It was there that bold type heading "JOB BIDS" jumped off the page and slapped me straight across the face. "CLICK ME!" I heard it shout. And so I did.

After navigating my way to the elementary teacher openings I was shocked to see that the only openings were for 3rd grade. WHAT?!?!? This to me is the BEST grade to teach. I have been wanting to go back to this grade pretty much since I left it four years ago. I have BEGGED my boss, but no openings at our school have been available. To make matters even better, one opening was on the side of town that was closest to me. So, I decided to go for it. Then, I GOT AN INTERVIEW!!!

Now it is 11 hours after the interview. An awful interview at that. First of all it was over a "Team" call. Of course because of COVID19, there are no face to face interviews. This is not good for me considering charm is one of my strongest qualities. Not very easy to charm people through a screen. To make matters worse, the internet was acting up. Glitching. Freezing. At one point I was even disconnected. I could not see any of them and they could not see me. I felt so detached. I cannot image how I sounded. Yuck!

Most likely I was the first interview of the day, and I am most certain the others went much better. I have not heard anything all day. In my experience these decisions are made and moved on rather quickly. I know that no news is good news, but after that interview I am thinking that they are going with another candidate. Fact is though, I do not know. I am just sitting here...in the waiting.

Do you know that song "Take Courage" where it says, "so take courage my heart, stay steadfast my soul, He's in the waiting. Hold on to your hope watch your triumph unfold, He's never failing." Man,  those are some strong truths to speak (or sing) over yourself aren't they?

So I sit here, in the waiting...with Him. He has spent the afternoon showing me the best of both worlds. He reminds me that in a few years when I finally go for my masters, I want to go for reading recovery. I have pondered having an ELL focus with that. He reminds me of the two summers I taught ELL summer school and how much I enjoyed the students and the teaching that I did. This new position would give me great experience with these things.

Then he turns it around and reminds we of how much I love the students and families and colleagues at my current schools. How much love and history and potential good times I have left to have there. I think of the students that I would have for the next two years, some I even had when they were in Kindergarten. They are my babies and how on earth could I leave them?

My soul screams out, "LORD! What are you telling me here. What am I to hope for?"  

"This," he gently replies. 

My hope, should be in Him. To be with him, to hear him. To laugh with him and cry with him. To allow him to open me up and show me the parts of me I keep loosing along the way. This. This waiting where all I hope for is for His will to be done. For life to be surrendered and used for His glory and my good. 

So I wait, and I rest that my the prayers that he "opens or shuts any door he wants to, so that I am guided to where I will be the best use for him." will be answered. In his time, not mine. Praise be.