Almost four years ago I took a leap of faith, and decided to "invest my faith in the character of God." I wanted to stay home with my daughter for two years before she began school, and at the beginning of the journey that was it.
Shortly there after God showed up and has been working in my life ever since. He revealed a buried dream of mine to become a teacher, and then guided me into obtaining the degree and certificate to become one. And now, I sit and wait for what I have deemed the glorious payoff, which is signing a contract at my dream job.
Please do not misunderstand, that would still be the icing on the cake, but I am starting to think that I have already received the big pay off. I love God more, I trust God more, I seek God more, and much much more. As a follower of Christ I am not sure there is anything else I am meant to do.
This quest has been refining my soul, and I pray will continue to do so. I am a better person today because of the investment that I placed in God. The pay off....well...is more of Him.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Thursday, May 24, 2012
Wouldn't Want to Miss This
Phillipains 4: 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
A few days ago I actually told someone that "I cannot wait for this summer to be over." To some, this may seem like a normal statement, but I have NEVER been one who is so afraid of all of the unknown and scary times, that I was willing to give up the journey.
The statement DEEPLY bothered me, because what is life, if not for the journey. So I decided to find some inspiration from my FB friends. (Something that is apparently frowned upon by some - though I do not know why - but I will rant and rave on that another day.) This discussion lead to me being inspired and encouraged that the Lord will indeed provide. I was given wonderful ideas of how I can make a few dollars.
So I did the math, and I figure if I do not win $4000 by June (which is highly unlikely since I hate to gamble) Then I will be able to live on $300 a week, which is 13 hours of either cleaning or tutoring a week....doable!!! :)
Sometimes you just have to take a mountain and look at it one rock at a time. Excited to do this summer now!! It will be amazing to watch how God provides and plan to love the entire journey as he does.
Finally I wanted to list all of the things that I am looking forward to this summer:
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. 9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
A few days ago I actually told someone that "I cannot wait for this summer to be over." To some, this may seem like a normal statement, but I have NEVER been one who is so afraid of all of the unknown and scary times, that I was willing to give up the journey.
The statement DEEPLY bothered me, because what is life, if not for the journey. So I decided to find some inspiration from my FB friends. (Something that is apparently frowned upon by some - though I do not know why - but I will rant and rave on that another day.) This discussion lead to me being inspired and encouraged that the Lord will indeed provide. I was given wonderful ideas of how I can make a few dollars.
So I did the math, and I figure if I do not win $4000 by June (which is highly unlikely since I hate to gamble) Then I will be able to live on $300 a week, which is 13 hours of either cleaning or tutoring a week....doable!!! :)
Sometimes you just have to take a mountain and look at it one rock at a time. Excited to do this summer now!! It will be amazing to watch how God provides and plan to love the entire journey as he does.
Finally I wanted to list all of the things that I am looking forward to this summer:
- gardening
- travel to see family
- fishing
- swimming
- tutoring my daughter, and hopefully other students
- my new dance room
- the new trampoline
- me and my nephew Reid's awesome bday party
- watching Reid perform at the Civic Center
- Recital week
- State Fair Camp and State Fair
- Pool parties
- BBQ's
- Sharing/mentoring a new ministry with my daughter
- Twister at Bates Park
- MPT meetings
- Library time
- Walks/bike rides at Grays lake or beyond
- sleep overs
- discovering something new about me
- discovering something new about my daughter
- time to cook my favorite meals
- try new recipes
- etc....
Monday, May 21, 2012
Seeking Him First
For the last four years, I have been on a journey. It was nearly four years ago about this time, when I felt the Lord was answering my prayers to be a stay at home mom. I heard quit plainly, you will quit your job and start an in home day care in August. Um, OK!!!
It was at this time that I began (what at that time I thought I knew) learning that it is God and God alone who is my provider. Not the job or my skills, for God provided me that job and the skills to do the job.
In the last four years I have spent many moments filled with anxiety about how my bills would be paid. All along, I knew that God was my provider, and that he did not lead me on this journey to let me fail. Still, not knowing where the money is coming for your mortgage, and the mortgage being due in two days....leads to a little bit of anxiety.
A lot of times it looked like this... me, face down in tears telling God "OK I trust you, but can you work your miracle more quickly next month. Please! I am growing tired of the not knowing." And sometimes he did and sometimes he didn't.
I am facing another summer, hopefully my last, of going through this emotional roller coaster ride of the unknown. But hwo unknown is it? He says he will provide. I believe him! I trust him! But still I ask, how much is my respobsiblity? Am I to go out and eagerly look for ways to make money? How much to I push? (Any thoughts would be greatly welcomed BTW)
I am not sure. I do know that I hope this summer I do not have to end up face down in tears. Perhaps I can learn to have a bit more confidence in what I know! That he is my provider, my love, my God, my Lord. He will provide and take care of it all. I do not have to know, I just have to wake up every morning ready to listen and follow his lead. Seek him first and all else will be added.
It was at this time that I began (what at that time I thought I knew) learning that it is God and God alone who is my provider. Not the job or my skills, for God provided me that job and the skills to do the job.
In the last four years I have spent many moments filled with anxiety about how my bills would be paid. All along, I knew that God was my provider, and that he did not lead me on this journey to let me fail. Still, not knowing where the money is coming for your mortgage, and the mortgage being due in two days....leads to a little bit of anxiety.
A lot of times it looked like this... me, face down in tears telling God "OK I trust you, but can you work your miracle more quickly next month. Please! I am growing tired of the not knowing." And sometimes he did and sometimes he didn't.
I am facing another summer, hopefully my last, of going through this emotional roller coaster ride of the unknown. But hwo unknown is it? He says he will provide. I believe him! I trust him! But still I ask, how much is my respobsiblity? Am I to go out and eagerly look for ways to make money? How much to I push? (Any thoughts would be greatly welcomed BTW)
I am not sure. I do know that I hope this summer I do not have to end up face down in tears. Perhaps I can learn to have a bit more confidence in what I know! That he is my provider, my love, my God, my Lord. He will provide and take care of it all. I do not have to know, I just have to wake up every morning ready to listen and follow his lead. Seek him first and all else will be added.
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